Everything's Bigger in Texas

Despite staying east of Dallas we determined a day in the Dallas-Fort Worth area would be best spent in the Fort Worth Stockyards area, about an hours drive away. The morning news informed us that the largest indoor Christmas tree in America was being lit up on this very day. We couldn't miss an opportunity to see holiday decorations done in proper Texas style. During the quick drive to the shopping mall we got our first exposure to the massive scale Texans seemingly do everything. The roading system struck us as ridiculous. At every oown-raymp and eggs-it we were confronted with and absolute maze of roads, sometimes 4 or 5 stories of overlapping skyway. Arriving at Galleria Dallas, we easily located the giant tree and found it was surrounded with an indoor ice skating rink. After a quick spot of shopping I convinced Amy to come for a skate with me for a morning bout of public embarrassment. 10 minutes and several meetings with the ice later we'd satisfied any urge to skate for the next few years at least.

A quick detour through suburban Fort Worth due to some minor navigational complications we arrived at the Stock Yards. The Yards, like a piece of the Wild West in the middle of a city of 6 million, are a fall back to the days of the massive cattle drives of the 1800's. Originally a huge cattle trading and processing facility, it is now an attraction based around cowboy stores, rodeo's and honky tonk. Upon arrival we encountered the most bizzare parking payment system to date. A semi honesty based process where by a folded $5 note was required to be inserted into a slot correspondingly numbered with the park you chose.

We headed straight across the road on a whim to Cooper Old Fashioned Bar-b-Que for a bite. Our gamble paid off handsomely with some mighty fine Texan slow cooked meat. Plates loaded with BBQ'd meat we sat down at a table packed with condiments, including a giant jar of pickled Jalapenos which Amy had the misfortune of mistaking for pickles. The styles of BBQ have changed with the landscapes, from a wet, vinegar based sauce in the Carolinas to a thick tomato based glaze in Memphis to a much drier but equally delicious rub on the ribs in Texas. Debate rages as to which is the one true BBQ style, I won't put any more fuel on the fire by proclaiming one to be better. Any one would be worth the trip to the states alone to try.

The Stockyards were crammed with shops selling all manner of western apparel, boots, spurs, hats, belt buckles. It was a pretty authentic feeling old timey western district complete with shoe shiners popping rags on the corner, we couldn't find a saloon with swinging doors for an afternoon gun fight though. After spending a couple hours trying to jam my fat feet into cowboy boots we made our way down to watch the daily cattle drive. The Texas Long Horn Cattle were very impressive and not to mention vicious but I managed to tame one long enough to ride it.

Great fortune was bestowed upon us when we when to check out Billy Bobs Honky Tonk; a line dancing class was about to kick off. Billy Bobs is the worlds Largest Honky Tonk, with half a dozen bars, live rodeo twice a week and draw cards like line dancing it once drew in a crowd thristy enough to down 16,000 bottles of beer in a single night. With my natural sense of rhythm and general co-ordination, I took to two-stepping like a cat to water. Soon enough though we were all grave-vine-ing, left stomping and sweating to the Country Tune. By the end of the hour session we were doing the Cadillac Ranch Stomp like seasoned Texans. Unfortunately the video and photo's taken were tragically destroyed in a very isolated fire and cannot be posted to the blog.

Due to the strenuous exercise, for the first time in weeks we had actually developed the feeling of hunger so we punched the address of a decent sounding restaurant into the GPS. The Tavern provided some excellent fare, though I think I won dinner with my half pound of crab cakes with no filler. All tuckered out from another busy day we drove back to Dallas to get a good nights sleep before the trip down to San Antonio tomorrow.

Beer of the Day:
Coors  - Bottle - Pale yellow like urine, smells of light grass and grain, no discernible flavour. Decent carbonation makes it easy enough to drink but if you are drinking beer why would you choose something that in my opinion  has none of the characteristics that make beer good.